On the way to Yatra

It is so hot here I cannot move. Amy and I went to the beach today. We had to plunge ourselves in the sea and take showers every five minutes in order to refrain from spontaneously combusting on our muy chic sunbeds. It was very amusing.

I have deepened my chic peachy tan of amazingness to one of slight sunburn which tomorrow turn to another gorgeous shade to compliment my natural gorgeousness only the very amazing have. However, I was not lobster red, so my skin will not be turning to cowhide anytime soon. Or wrinkling badly in the future. Yes, I am very vain.

Amy kept pushing down her bikini bottoms to show me her tan line, which probably excited a few perving males. And dykes. Anyways, they have either stretched mucho, or she has lost weight. Probably both. They were flailing in the wind as if they were sails of a cruise ship... except cruise ships don't have sails! I am really so stupid for someone who is supposed to be ganz smart. Oh what what fun we have. She has stolen my cheap and shitty bracelet which I love.

Ahaha only 7 days left until I am on the plane and out of this craphole (no offense, fellow Malaga residents) and into the paradise waters of ModleLand.